Poetic Licence

A funny thing happened... But first some background...

A couple of things you should know about me: I genuinely believe in the power of positive thinking (but I don't do it); I believe that you have the power to change whatever you want to change about yourself (but I don't do it); I believe that if you want something enough, you can go out there and make it happen (but I don't do it). I've long ago accepted all this about myself, and made excuses for myself that I don't really know what it is I want, and I mustn't want it badly enough or I'd have gone out there and got it. Whatever it is - that elusive something that is missing.

Now, I've recently come to the realisation that there isn't something missing - there isn't a big hole where something should be. This is it. Right now, this is what I've got. And it's not bad. Sure, my job's a bit crummy at the moment and my house is always a mess and I need to lose some weight. But waiting around for my 'epiphany' before I do anything about that stuff is just the biggest ever procrastination. So, if I stop looking for the elusive 'something', I'll probably find it while I'm busy sorting out the here and now. I will make something better of my job, or find a new one. I will tidy my house, or stop thinking about it as such a big deal. I will lose weight, or stop worrying so much about it. There's a probably a perfect quotation that sums this up. Probably from John Lennon. Probably about life being something that happens while you're making other plans. But I'm not very good at quotations...

Anyhoo, in an effort to tidy my house in a permanent-ish sort of way, I'm gradually decluttering. I have unearthed numerous notebooks with lists and systems so that I can get organised and become fulfilled. When I went to bed the other night, I noticed yet another such notebook beside my bed. It contained list after list of things I was going to change/buy/learn/do to improve and enrich my life. It made me smile at myself. But it also made me do something else. It made me write a poem! Now, I aspire to understand poetry. I try - I really do. But I've just never got it. Then, on Monday night, I wrote a poem. And last night, when I went to bed, I wrote another one. Just to express a feeling that didn't need to be expressed to anyone but myself. And there it is, written down. I never thought I'd see the day...

I may well share my first poem with you, just because it's there. Nothing deep or profound about it (and I may have been subliminally affected by hearing Pam Ayres on the radio the other day), but to put it 'out there' stops it being just another thing written in just another notebook. Maybe I'll post it in a minute, if I'm feeling brave...