Mixed bag

There are times when I really want to write something. Anything. But inspiration won't strike and whatever pops in to my head is just too mundane (which is what Twitter is for...). Now is just one of those times. I'm sitting here at my computer, fingers poised over the keys, just willing a fascinating subject to emerge from the dusty, cobwebby corners of my mind. Nuffink! So, you will have to indulge me while I waffle aimlessly about one or two things that passed through my brain in lieu of a fascinating post...

Musical reunion
Every now and then it's great to hear a song that you haven't heard for years. A song that you always liked but had completely forgotten about. Last week, for me, it was The Devil Went Down To Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band. How could you not love it? It's possibly been at least a decade since I last heard it, but it was on the radio as I drove to work last week and I knew that I'd have to download it as soon as I could. I've now listend to it over and over. I'm listening to it right now. It makes me want to take up the violin again (in fact, if playing the violin at school had been anything like that, I'd never have given it up!). For some reason it led me to listen to Ode To Billy Joe by Bobby Gentry. I'm a whisker away from Islands In The Stream and Blanket On The Ground. Just one C&W evening can't hurt, can it? I can give it up anytime...

Working gURL
I've bought my .co.uk web address. jcmoore. Don't bother looking - I haven't done anything with it yet. I've been pondering doing something freelance-ish. Word processing, Powerpoint and whatnot. But I've no idea where to start. I need to dedicate some proper thinking time to the idea. I still really want to make a go of the jewellery business, but something keeps stopping me, whether it's my lack of sales/marketing confidence, or doubts about some aspects of the quality of what I'm making. Unfortunately, the pleasure of the 'hobby' has diminished somewhat because I'm feeling that I ought to be making a go of the business side. I need to get over that, and recapture the enjoyment that made me so excited about the whole thing in the first place. As a first step, I'm going to have a fun 'making' day tomorrow...

Speaking of making
I've got some lovely knitting on the go. A few weeks ago, the most important thing in the world to me was to get a blanket for my bed. I've done away with my duvet and have gone all retro with sheets and blankets. Except I don't have any blankets. I only have synthetic fleeces, which aren't warm enough on chilly nights. I looked in shops for old-fashioned wool blankets, but I couldn't find any - only designer 'throws' and suchlike. Of course, the internet has blankets, but they cost a fortune. So I got out my big needles and bought some super chunky wool and if I try very hard I may have a warm snuggly blanket for my bed at about the time the Winter Olympics are held in Russia...

Essay, essay, essay
I've nearly finished my OU Psychology Openings course. I've just got my final essay to write. It's been OK. It also confirmed my suspicion that studying is not really my bag and anything more intensive than an Openings course won't suit me at all. I've been able to completely neglect it for weeks and then catch up with an hour's reading. (In fact, someone asked me about it the other day, and I actually forgot I was doing it!) I know I won't be able to do that with a 'proper' course, and I also know that I will neglect it. This has been just right for me and I may well do another - I'm thinking maths - but the student life is definitely not for me.

Pillow talk
I was going to tell you all about my wonderful new pillows. But I can't bring myself to. Next thing I'll be blogging my shopping list! Suffice to say, they're amazingly gorgeous, considering they don't contain one single feather. In fact, they're so gorgeous that writing this is making me want to go to bed. It's probably making you want to go to bed too, so I'll detain you no further and let you go about your business, whatever it might be...

If only everyone were as perfect as me (and with a little help they could be)...

Dear lady in the car behind me this morning,

When driving along a narrow road lined with parked cars, and coming across a skip lorry and a school bus trying to come the other way, it is not advisable to overtake the patient person letting them through (i.e. me) and blocking the road. They're considerably bigger and less maneuverable than you and you really have nothing to gain by getting in their way. Where exactly did you think they were going to go?

Just some friendly advice for the future...

Yours helpfully,
Jo

-oOo-

Dear sales assistant in Guildford PC World who tried to help me this morning,

It was my pleasure to show you a product on the internet that you didn't know you sell. You were probably a bit hungry or something, as it was nearly lunchtime, so I'll forgive you for telling me I didn't know what I was talking about (though you did it quite politely) and failing to apologise when I proved that I did.

Yours teeth-grindingly,
Jo

-oOo-

Dear customers on neighbouring table in Frankie & Benny's at lunchtime today,

It was Bobby Vee singing 'Take Good Care of My Baby", and not The Eversley (sic) Brothers.

Yours helpfully (and admittedly slightly patronisingly),
Jo

-oOo-

Dear sales assistant in Weybridge PC World who tried to help me this afternoon,

Next time someone asks you the difference between two apparently similar, but considerably differently priced products, just reading numbers off the boxes isn't helpful. When asked the difference between a speed of 1600 and 2100, "This one is 500 faster than that one" is not a particularly informative answer.

Yours none-the-wiserly,
Jo

-oOo-

Dear all sales assistants everywhere,

If you don't know something, please just admit it. Say you don't know and go and find someone who does. Honestly, trying to bluff your way through by reading what's printed on the box is not good customer service. Just so you know...

Yours surely-not-expecting-too-muchly,
Jo

-oOo-

Dear chemist,

It's lucky I was only getting gloopy cream for my skin today when you gave me the wrong thing for my prescription, rather than important drugs or something. It's also lucky I noticed.

Yours luckily,
Jo

-oOo-

Dear car washing men in Tesco's car park,

No, I don't want my car cleaned, thank you.

Yours repetitively,
Jo

-oOo-

Dear person on the phone this afternoon,

Using the words 'government legislation' 4 times in your opening spiel does not fool me for one minute into thinking you're not just trying to sell me something.

Yours exasperatedly,
Jo

Wondering weather to worry?

Swine flu has been a damp squib, so I expect you're all wondering what on earth you can worry about now. Well, wipe that smile off your face and suppress that spring in your step, for you can now rest uneasily knowing that there's something else to give you cause for concern and the opportunity to take preventative measures...

It's going to be a hot summer!

Yes, that's right. The Met Office have said that it's too early to tell, but it's likely that this summer will be warmer than the last two. (I think that this winter has been mostly warmer than the last two summers, but I might be wrong about that - I'm not using scientific data, just guesswork, which seems to be an acceptable practice...). So apparently we're now using the law of averages to predict the weather.

Anyway, you can rest assured (but don't; you shouldn't rest when there are preventative measures to be taken) that the Government has taken steps to ensure that we are well-informed about how to stay cool and safe when the temperature soars. The Department of Health has published its Heatwave Plan to help us understand what we should do if we get a bit hot. And there's quite a lot of work involved, so we'd better start now:-

1. Paint external walls with pale, reflective paint. I'm not sure what the council will think when I do this, but as I'm following Government guidelines, it should be OK. In fact, covering the walls with mirrors would be even more effective, surely.

2. Replace metal blinds and dark curtains with something paler and more reflective. More mirrors will do the trick...

3. Grow trees and leafy plants near windows to act as natural air-conditioners. Why not? I can't see out anyway with all those mirrors over my windows. I'd better do that soon, trees can take a long time to grow. I'll definitely have to do it before the hosepipe ban, anyway...

4. Turn off non-essential lights and electrical equipment - they generate heat. For a start, I'm turning everything off anyway, to reduce my carbon footprint. Standby lights are a big no-no. But they don't mention gas fires. Do they generate heat? Should I turn off my central heating? It doesn't say...

5. Insulate your loft and cavity walls. I have cavity walls, but I don't have a loft. Should I get one? I'm not sure where I'll put it... Perhaps I'll just ask my upstairs neighbours to put down thick carpets...

6. Keep a thermometer in your living room and bedroom to check how hot it is. When you're hot, it's important to know exactly how hot. Comparing the temperature in two rooms will enable you to establish how hot it is in different parts of your house. This will give you twice as much to talk about when this is all over and you can come out of your house and start socialising again.

So, you've got your home ready. Now make sure you're fully versed on how to keep yourself cool when THE HEATWAVE hits:-

1. Stay out of the heat. You've done a lot of work to keep your home cool - use it! Do not go outside and enjoy the weather - stay in the dark.

2. Avoid extreme physical exertion. Because it can make you hot.

3. Wear light clothes. Heavy, dark clothes are designed to keep you warm. In a HEATWAVE, the sun will do that for you. However, nudity is frowned upon in many public spaces - though you'll be in your dark, cool home, so you can be as naked as you like...

4. Have plenty of cold drinks. Cold drinks are less hot than hot drinks.

5. Eat cold foods. Cold foods are less hot than hot foods.

6. Take a cool shower. A cool shower, not a hot one.

7. Sprinkle water over the skin or clothing. It doesn't say what temperature the water should be. I'm going with cold, or cool is probably OK too.

Good. I think we're as prepared as we can be. We'll just need to hunker down when THE HEATWAVE arrives.

Of course, if the Department of Health generated a little less hot air, we might be better off by a degree or two...

Incidentally, I know that particularly hot summers see an increase in deaths from heart and cardiovascular illnesses (and also murders and suicides, apparently), and other heat-related illnesses aren't funny, but I'm not sure that a 39-page document (and its associated documents) is going to make any difference.

Fully booked

For the first time since I joined the library, I managed to borrow the correct number/size of books to last me exactly the three weeks lending time. I finished the last one last night and they're due back tomorrow, so that's not bad going - just one bookless night to get through...

Unfortunately, it wasn't the best selection. There was a lot of variety, but none of them gripped me. Getting to the end felt like a chore, rather than a pleasure. Better luck next time, hopefully.

However, don't let me put you off...

The Necropolis Railway by Andrew Martin

The story is set in 1903 and centres around the rail line between London Waterloo and Brookwood Cemetery. Jim Stringer aspires to drive steam engines, but he has to work his way up through the ranks, in an atmosphere of mistrust and hostility. Strange things are going on, but can Jim get to the bottom of the mysteries before he becomes the next 'victim'?

It's all very promising, but somehow the story left me cold. I didn't care about the mystery, and the narrative was hard going (possibly because it was so 'atmospheric' and I missed the point). This book came highly recommended by the librarian, so maybe it was just me, but I'm unlikely to be rushing to find the next Jim Stringer mystery.

The Case of the Missing Books by Ian Sansom

Another first in a series - the Mobile Library - in which we meet Israel Armstrong, a hapless librarian, moving to Ireland to start a new life and run a branch library. Except he arrives to find the library closed, no-one to meet him and, by various misadventures, he loses all his money and clothes.

By an unlikely set of circumstances, Israel is forced to resurrect the local mobile library, live in a chicken coop and generally be abused by almost everyone he meets. It felt like this was trying to be Wilt, by Tom Sharpe. But it really didn't work - the situations were so ludicrous and so unlikely that I had no sympathy for our 'hero' and couldn't care less whether he triumphed through adversity or not. Hmm...

Compulsion by Jonathan Kellerman

Compulsion is an Alex Delaware novel. If you're not familiar with the series, Delaware is a child psychologist in LA who works with the police department on cases involving children, usually getting more involved than you imagine is likely in real life. However, I've always found these novels to be a good read, with a familiar set of characters who we've got to know over the years.

This is not the best of the series, though. Delaware seems to just be along for the ride when his friend, Lieutenant Sturgis, begins investigating some previously unconnected murders involving expensive cars. With no children involved, it seems odd that Delaware gets to go off investigating all by himself, but we can suspend disbelief for a good detective story, can't we? Well, only just, because it's a bit of a thin story. However, it wasn't a chore to finish (unlike my previous two!).

The Marriage Bureau for Rich People by Farahad Zama

I managed (more by luck than judgement) to keep the best for last. The Marriage Bureau for Rich People is about exactly that - a marriage bureau in India, set up by retired Mr Ali for something to occupy him and keep him out from under his wife's feet. It's a charming read, and reminded me of the first No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency book, with the stories of the bureau's clients, and descriptions of the life and culture of India. The writing style was quite simplistic, and sometimes clumsy when trying to explain things, but it was an enjoyable read nonetheless. I actually cared about the characters, for the first time in 4 books!

So, I'm back at the library tomorrow for my next batch. Hopefully my hit rate will be better...

Slow boat to Byfleet

You know how it is: you're at work on a lovely sunny afternoon and your boss says to you, "Do you fancy coming along with me to move my boat along the canal?".

Well, OK, it's not necessarily something that happens every day, but it did happen yesterday and it would have been churlish of me to reply, "No, no! I must stay here, indoors, and carry on with work!", so I didn't.

So, off we went to Send, to bring Little Edna 'home', along the Wey Navigation, to Byfleet Boat Club.

We made gentle progress along the canal, being overtaken by a few walkers and cyclists. There isn't much to do other than enjoy the day, enjoy the company, and pay attention to where the boat should be going. I took my turn at the tiller, and we probably meandered a bit more than we needed to but, hey, it was my first time!

Oh yes, there are locks to negotiate. I don't mind admitting to a fear of locks - it always seems to me that there's so much to go wrong! If I open the wrong gate at the wrong time, I might empty the canal! But, of course, that's not the case. A little bit of logical thinking, and I was an old hand by the end of the trip (3 locks later).

You can't be in a hurry when your top speed is 3mph. And there's a friendly vibe, "hellos" from other people enjoying the canal, "give us a wave" for photos. (Little Edna is very little - she attracts a lot of "aahs" and smiles.)

All in all, a very pleasant way to spend a sunny Friday afternoon and evening. Thanks, Mogs!

Little Edna

My first lock - Papercourt Lock

Newham Priory

Fruits of my labours

I've been a bit grumpy lately, entirely due to fed up-ness and a general lack of oomph. A cause and symptom of this has been my untidy and uncared-for home. You know how it goes: the place is a mess; it makes you grumpy to know it's a mess; you're too grumpy to sort it out. It's a sort of Catch-22. Or it might be laziness. I'm not quite sure (I couldn't finish the book...)

So, in an attempt to snap out of it, I decided that this weekend was the time for spring-cleaning. And then the weather joined in with the party, being the perfect spring-cleaning weather, that it was.

My skin is a big excuse for avoiding housework. It really exacerbates it, despite using those 'green' products (that don't really work nearly as well as good old chemicals). However, I decided to just moan a lot about it and get on with it anyway. (Incidentally, I usually wear disposable gloves, but they irritate too, so I did half the day with gloves and half without - it made no difference...)

Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom, top to bottom. I threw away all the toiletries I really don't (and won't) use. All the out-of-date sunscreens and expensive creams and lotions that do me no good at all. I chose not to think about the waste of money... I washed every surface and threw away the horrible bath mat that just won't get clean, even with bleach. Lovely clean and tidy bathroom.

Lovely clean bathroom - note empty laundry basket lower left...

Today it was the kitchen's turn. My kitchen always seems to take ages to clean properly, and my skin was suffering from the effects of yesterday, so I decided to just see how far I could get. I also had a grocery delivery due this morning, and had determined to get all my laundry done. In the end, I decided to start at the very, very messy 'dump everything' end of the work surface. Over the last couple of months, this has spread across half the kitchen and has been annoying me for ages, so it seemed like the biggest 'win' to get that cleared. It was also dominated by a bread machine that I rarely use.

My groceries arrived and took up the other half of the kitchen. So, a big load of throwing out of unused and out-of-date food from cupboards and fridge was called-for. I chose not to think about the waste of money... That done, and the piles of junk on the worktop binned, recycled or 'filed' (well, that'll be another day...) and I could stow away the bread machine, reclaim my fruit bowls and load up all the fabulously healthy stuff I'd ordered online. Phew! That's probably only about a third of the kitchen done, but it's so nice to have clear worktops again.

Neat and tidy cupboard. Just avert your eyes from the many packets of 'Pasta 'n' Sauce.

If only I had a 'before' picture, you'd realise what a triumph this is!

Not only that, but the laundry has been on the go the whole time and, with perfect drying weather to boot, the lines have been full. Now my least favourite job: the putting away...

So, I have a kitchen full of fresh healthy grub. But can I now be bothered to cook any of it after such a busy weekend...? What do you think?

My well-stocked fridge. Now I just need a personal chef...

What's my favourite flower?

I'm sure you're dying to know... Well, it's the daffodil. Surprise!

This is the best time of year. I may wander into cliché - and I may have posted much the same thing around this time every year - but nothing lifts my heart and my spirit quite like the sight of the first daffodils. This week has been Spring-in-a-bottle, with the sunshine and blossom and birds and everything else that lets us know that winter's over. Even being able to hang out washing (and it getting dry) makes me smile. Putting it all away doesn't, but that sort of negative thinking has no place in this post.

I drove to work this morning along by the river at Lower Sunbury. Trees along the river bank were covered in bright pink blossom, and there was a hazy shimmer over the water. It took my breath away, it really did! If it weren't for double yellow lines I'd have stopped right then and taken a photo for you. But I couldn't, which is a shame.

Rumour has it that this weather won't last, but I'm not looking ahead. I'm living for the sunny, springy moment, breathing in the scent of daffodils whenever I can, because I know it is fleeting.

There should be a place you can go (there probably is!) where the sounds and smells of Spring are pumped in. Fresh-mown grass, bumble bees, daffodils of course, peacocks. Peacocks? Yes - there are some peacocks close to where I live and the sound they make in the evenings makes me think of longer days and sunshine. I close my eyes to the washing and pretend I'm in the countryside. Bliss!

So, what I'm basically saying is: Spring's here - good isn't it?