I am here

I've been on holiday. I don't think I mentioned it. I didn't even say goodbye. Sorry 'bout that, but Thomas and I were heading off to Geneva, and I didn't want to tempt fate this time. The good news is that there wasn't a single hitch in our travel plans and we've had a super week! My head's full of ideas for posts, but no time to write them right now. So, here's a choice selection of holiday pics (more on my Flickr, if you're interested...), and I leave you with a promise to write soon. TTFN!

The Italian end of the Mont-Blanc tunnel

Yvoire (On Lake Geneva), France Gruyère, Switzerland

Annecy, France

So, I finally got my voucher...

...and I made an appointment for an eye test today. I was meeting a friend for lunch in Kingston-upon-Thames, so I thought I'd do some shopping and visit the optician while I was there. I phoned yesterday and made an appointment at Vision Express for 11am this morning. The map on their website showed they're in the Bentall Centre, next to Mothercare.

I was a bit late, having got stuck behind annoying slow drivers all the way there, got to the Bentall Centre 2 minutes before my appointment time, then couldn't find the place. I found Mothercare, but there was no optician either side of it. I checked the complicated shopping centre map, found Vision Express, then failed to find an escalator that would get me there. Aargh! Finally I managed to get myself there, at 11.05.

I apologised for my lateness and the man behind the counter said not to worry, he'd change my appointment time to 11.20, otherwise it would go on my record that I was late for my appointment. My record?! Is there some kind of permanent optician's record that stays with me for life? Or is it a lateness record that follows me around? I told him that I really wasn't scared of having my lateness recorded, and maybe they should update their website map. "It's not our fault" he said, "Mothercare moved." Anyway, presumably I now have a glowing punctuality record as I was officially 15 minutes early for my 11.20 appointment!

Anyhoo, it all worked out well in the end. It turns out that my prescription is unchanged. The inside of my eyes are healthy. And I have a condition called Blepharitis (or Granulated Eyelids, which is a perfect description of how it feels) - an inflammation of the inner eyelids that is exacerbated by my problem skin and long hours on the computer with insufficient blinking. I have drops and ointments and instructions to do hourly blinking exercises and daily eyelid cleansing. I'm contented to have a condition with a medical-sounding name, rather than just Dry Eye Syndrome.

Sit up straight! No slouching!

I'm overdue for an eye test so, because we get eye test vouchers at work, I sent an email requesting a voucher. I got an email in return with a lengthy document advising me how to avoid RSI and Work-Related-Upper-Limb-Disorders, and a Health & Safety assessment form to fill in. OK, I thought, but I just want an eye test voucher [sigh]. I filled in the form - yes, the lighting is fine; yes, I know how to adjust my chair; yes, my workspace is sufficiently spacious; no, I'm not unduly disturbed by noise around my workspace; yes, I am having trouble with my eyes because I have a lot of work to do and use my computer a lot and need an eye test so please can I have a voucher? [sigh] Then I got a visit from the Health & Safety lady.

She went through my form - "I see you sometimes use your laptop computer at home for 1-4 hours at a time."

"Yes, that's right."

"But you work full-time - are you expected to work from home?"

I looked at her for a moment and wondered how to phrase my reply. I settled for:

"Well, it's not expected exactly, but I have a lot of work to do and I can't stay in the office until late at night."

"Well a laptop's not a terribly good setup for working because the keyboard and screen aren't adjustable."

"No."

"So I'll arrange for you to be supplied with a better setup for home."

"But I don't have the space or a desk or anything."

"But you need to have a healthy working environment."

"OK."

My manager has apparently approved the request to provide me with additional equipment. I'm hoping for an airy conservatory with a nice desk, air conditioning and a pleasant view. What would have been better was my manager approving a request for less work...

During a lull in the witty banter...

A conversation I had at work a few weeks ago:

Colleague: "Oh, I see you're writing a blog. I didn't know you had a blog."
Me: "Yes I do."
Colleague: "What do you write about?"
Me: "Well, today I'm writing about mayonnaise."
Colleague: "Mayonnaise?"
Me: "Yes."
Colleague: "Righto."
Me: "Shall I send you the address of my blog?"
Colleague: "No."

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Oscar Wilde

I'm still here...

...because I didn't win the lottery. I know you've been wondering...

By the way, when I was looking for the link above, I came across Cape Disappointment - a State Park in Washington. It used to be called Fort Canby State Park. I wonder what possessed them to rename it. Perhaps everyone that visited said "It's not as good as I thought it would be". What a shame. It looks lovely in the pictures - and it's got 2 lighthouses, an amphitheater (sic) and a horseshoe pit, among many other things. It's probably got a self esteem issue too!

(Aha! I just read some more of the site, and it turns out that that's its original name, from when it was discovered by Captain John Meares He was actually looking for the Columbia River!)

Starring the Jude Law of the Sixties...

I was going to go to bed with a nice cup of tea and a good book (Enigma by Robert Harris, since you asked), but I've just noticed that The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is starting.

So, change of plan - a nice cup of tea and a good film (and Guy Pearce in bikini briefs).

Also, I may have won £10 million on the lottery - I bought a ticket on the spur of the moment this evening, and I haven't checked it yet, so you never know. I'm going to wait a couple of days then check - I like the idea that I've got all that money and am oblivious. Of course, if I have, you'll be one of the first to know.

Anyway, the film's starting so I'm settling down to be entertained. "Hey lady, you lady...".

How was your weekend?

It's not often I have a nice afternoon's shopping these days. Something about the thought of dragging Thomas round the shops, sighing and whining, that I just can't face. Which is why I tend to buy most of my clothes at Tesco while he's looking at the PS2 games I won't buy him.

However, today we struck a bargain. I agreed to take him to Woking, to Games Workshop, to spend the £5 that he found in his bedroom yesterday. (If you know anything about Games Workshop, incidentally, you'll know that £5 doesn't buy anything, so I agreed to lend him another fiver in lieu of the chores he's going to do this week. Yes, yes, I know - but it's a small price to pay for a harmonious weekend!) In addition to taking him to this Warhammer wonderland, I also agreed to act interested and help him decide what to buy. In return for all of this magnanimity, he was to show no signs of impatience while I browsed in Claire's Accessories, or pull faces when I made a beeline for a pair of shoes I fancied.

Some additional acts of bribery (a grande hot chocolate in Starbucks and a new Fighting Fantasy book) meant that I could take my time choosing fancy teabags.

To top it all off, I finally took the plunge and bought myself a new camera. Nothing fancy - in fact just the more recent model of my current camera - but if I went for something expensive and complicated, I would spend too much time worrying about losing it. I've managed to get some really nice pictures with my humble Fuji Finepix, so I'll save the purchase of a digital SLR for another day.

So, all in all, a very pleasant Sunday. And, if you're interested, Thomas chose some Warhammer Space Marine motorbikes and Bloodbones, the latest Fighting Fantasy.

Oh, and nearly everywhere we went, I managed to take advantage of '3 for 2' offers - I got a free book, a free packet of teabags and a free necklace. Not bad going.

We rounded the day off with roast pork and garlic roast potatoes.

So with such a lovely day, added to a nice lazy Saturday, and Strictly Come Dancing back on the telly, a splendid weekend. I hope yours was too!

"Due to the number of people bored last Sunday, next Sunday will be cancelled." M*A*S*H (1972)

Hold the mayo!

Still no word from Hellmann's. No doubt they're busy redesigning their squeezy bottles so they can let me try it out. Free. Forever.

If only I didn't love Hellmann's mayonnaise quite so much, I might consider a boycott.

I did get a little bit excited when Tesco started selling Miracle Whip. I found out that it's the lovely mayo they used to use at my ex-favourite fried chicken place (are you keeping up with this?), but I also discovered that it's one of those things that is best in small doses, and doesn't come close to replacing the Real thing.

Oh well, la di da. Perhaps I'll try the personal approach and write them a letter, in proper handwriting, on actual paper. Maybe I'll also enclose all of the mayonnaise I couldn't get out by squeezing. Except I'm not sure about the new postal rates for sending condiments...

The irony of it - a paper anniversary in an online world

I've been blogging now for just over a year. Fifty-odd posts, so that averages just less than one a week. Not bad, actually, considering I don't have a lot to say!

Reading some random blogs, a lot of people write about religion and politics and have a cause to espouse. I have no such strong feelings, or I'm not eloquent enough to express my views in that way. Or I'm not passionate enough. Or I'm not angry enough.

So I'll stick with my quiet unobtrusive musings, if that's OK with you. I'll try not to get cross, but if I do, you should know that I'll generally be over it by the time I hit 'Publish Post'.

Speaking of which, I am thinking of calling Hellmann's and complaining about their squeezy mayonnaise bottle. Really, you only get about a third of the mayonnaise out before you have to unscrew the lid and use a teaspoon to get the rest. And they were on special offer, so I've got two of them! Aargh!

(In fact, having gone to their website to get the links above, I've actually written to them to let them know how dissatisfied I am. I'm expecting a year's worth of free mayonnaise - in jars, of course - at the very least. I'll let you know how I get on.)

I've often thought that I fancy writing to companies and give them my opinion of their products and services, in a Henry Root stylee. Perhaps I will start clicking 'Contact Us' more often and see what happens. Watch this space...

And finally, the thing that's taken most time when writing my posts, is thinking up a title. This post, for example - I finished it 2 hours ago, but I'm still trying to come up with the perfect heading. I wonder how it will turn out...

Never a cross word...

I've managed to practically finish the Sunday supplement crossword, but there is no clue for 23 down.

It's a 4-letter word. S-something-L-something. Hmm...

If I want to enter into the competition, should I leave it blank or make something up? Perhaps I'm in with a better chance of winning if I come up with a less obvious solution...

Self
Salt
Silt
Sole
Sale
Silk
Silo
Solo
Sold