Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more...

So, half term holiday's coming up. Money's tight and we haven't done a lot lately. It would be nice to have a day out - a proper outing to somewhere we wouldn't normally go to.

Thomas is hard to please these days. He's a teenager after all, and all he really wants to do is stay in and play video games. So I need to win him over. I get out my book 'Bollocks to Alton Towers' which gives details of some lesser known and (sometimes) typically Britishly eccentric places to visit. It includes places like Barometer World and Williamson's Tunnels. It also includes the Kelvedon Hatch Secret Nuclear Bunker at Brentwood in Essex.

Now this is right up Thomas's street, so I suggested a visit. He seemed keen. Perfect.

Ah... According to their website they are only open Thursday-Sunday during the winter months. I'd ideally like to go on a Tuesday or Wednesday, when I don't work. But, not to worry, they say they are usually open during school holidays and half term. Of course, half term can vary depending on area, so the sensible thing to do, before committing to the hour and a half drive, is to drop them a line and check. Oh lovely - they have an email address on their contact page, so they obviously are happy to receive emails. I sent a nice polite message: "We're planning a trip and would just like to check if you will be opening, etc., etc.". I just got a message back:

I guess we will be. m

Right. That's not exactly definitive, is it? The whole secret thing is probably difficult to shake off, but I would have expected a more helpful answer. Even a "we don't know yet, best to phone nearer the time" would have at least meant I know where I stand.

And is that the same "m" portrayed by Judi Dench? She's in charge of secret stuff...

I want to write straight back: "Can you see how that doesn't really help me?". But I won't. I never do! I think I'll just phone nearer the time...