Procrastin.......ation

I am sitting here on a Saturday afternoon, trying to think of something to write, purely so that I can avoid doing all the dull chores that need doing: washing, tidying, vacuuming, cleaning out the fish tank, hanging my new curtains, and so on and so forth. And it occurred to me that a) "occurred" is a word that I always avoid using because I'm never sure I spell it correctly (I just looked it up), and b) if I could only change my priorities, I would use the washing, tidying, vacuuming, etc., etc. to avoid sitting staring into space trying to think of something to write here. And watching tedious rubbish on TV. And reading the Daily Mail.

In fact, if I made a list of things I needed to do, and included things that I didn't really need to do, I could do the things that are necessary just to avoid doing the things that aren't. Because most of my time is spent procrastinating, I just need to change my perspective and re-classify cleaning the loo to procrastination, rather than being something I have to do. Simple. I shall write a book and become a lifestyle guru!

Now to write that list... Hang on, what time's Strictly Come Dancing on...?

Insert witty pun about rain and umbrellas and the kindness of strangers

Today it rained really hard - just as I was getting out of the car, retrieving my bags from the boot and trying to cross the incredibly busy road outside my flat. I was drenched. And as I was standing there, waiting for a gap in the traffic, I realised I should move slightly or else I would have to step in a deep puddle when I finally could cross the road. In doing so, I nearly bumped into a man with an umbrella walking along the pavement. I apologised, he smiled, we exchanged an 'urgh' comment on the weather and he carried on walking while I carried on waiting.

He'd got halfway up the road when he turned around and came back. He said "Are you going to be waiting long? Would you like my umbrella? I've got another one at home." It was so unexpected, it took me a while to understand what he meant. It seems that he was offering to give me his umbrella so I wouldn't get any wetter, thinking I was waiting for someone (rather than just being really crap at crossing roads). He was being kind. He was willing to get wet so I - a complete stranger - wouldn't get any wetter. I have actual friends who wouldn't do that...

Or, of course, he could have been a pusher trying to get me hooked on his 'free' umbrella...

An-noise-ances (no, that doesn't work!)

I work in an office that is full of young chaps testing video games. Noisy video games. Young chaps who speak loudly in many languages. And play music loudly. Hippity Hop music that I don't understand.

My team are writers. We like quiet. It's perfectly acceptable to be interrupted now and again by the peaceful ruffle of dictionary pages being turned. Or a hushed discussion about words. But we listen to our music through headphones - even our favourite Bond themes, shared over iTunes. We turn our TVs down low when we're playing the same bit of the same game over and over again.

Now and again we do make noise: meeting important deadlines merits a splendid laser-type sound effect; I'm trying to introduce an 'it's time for tea' song (strangely, no-one seems very keen); any mention of a certain boy wizard elicits much boo-ing and jeering. (Right now, I bet you're really wishing you work where I work!!)

But the thing is, noise is good. Too much quiet is bad. But some noise is just so annoying. General background conversation: good. Incessant high-performance car noises and sirens on racing-type video games: bad. General background conversation in multiple languages: very good. Constant out-of-tune whistling: very bad. Good natured banter and laughter: splendid. That bloody Mr T phrase generator keyring thing that was soooo funny the first time you heard it ("I ain't gettin' on no plane, fool"): aaargh!!!!

Somewhere in here there's a lesson to be learnt about everybody getting along together, compromise and tolerance. Which is all well and good, as long as it doesn't bother me!

Oh, I ought to point out that I'm not actually a writer myself. Hence the not-great writing...